101 Funny Puns for Every Mood, Moment and Eye Roll

Food puns served fresh

These puns are not part of a balanced meal. They are the reason the meal is fun.

16. I only have fries for you.
17. Lettuce celebrate before the salad gets dressed.
18. I donut know what I would do without you.
19. The loaf of bread got promoted because it always rose to the job.
20. I relish the chance to tell a food joke.
21. That taco was having a shell of a day.
22. Peas stay calm. Dinner is almost ready.
23. The banana went to the doctor because it was not peeling well.
24. I tried to share my pizza, but I could not find the slice in my heart.
25. The coffee filed a police report. It had been mugged.
26. I asked the egg for a joke, but it cracked under pressure.
27. Life is what you bake it.

Still hungry? Visit my full collection of cheese puns. It is 225 jokes strong and only a little sharp.

Animal puns from the wild side

No animals were bothered during the making of these jokes. A few rolled their eyes.

28. That bird is so fly.
29. I am not kitten around.
30. Alpaca snack for the road.
31. The duck woke up at the quack of dawn.
32. Do not worry. Owl be there.
33. The fish was nervous because the stakes were fin-tastic.
34. I wanted to tell a cow joke, but it was udder nonsense.
35. The frog’s car got toad away.
36. The horse opened a store. Business was stable.
37. The snake became a teacher because it was good at hiss-tory.
38. The sheep started a band. The crowd said it was baa-rilliant.
39. I asked the crab why it was upset. It said, “I’m feeling a little shellfish.”

Love puns with a soft center

Romance is serious business. That is why it needs silly jokes.

40. You have a pizza my heart.
41. I love you from my head tomatoes.
42. We make a great pear.
43. You are one in a melon.
44. I am soy into you.
45. You make miso happy.
46. Our love is unbe-leaf-able.
47. You are the highlight of my day. My lamp is jealous.
48. I lava you more than a volcano can say.
49. We were mint to be.
50. I am falling for you. Please move the rug.
51. You stole my heart, but I will not press charges.

Birthday puns worth another candle

Perfect for the card you remembered five minutes before the party.

52. Have a fan-cake-tastic birthday.
53. You take the cake, but please leave me a slice.
54. Another birthday? That is un-brrr-lievable. You look ice-cold young.
55. Age gets batter when cake is involved.
56. Do not count the candles. They are sensitive.
57. You are not old. You are a limited edition.
58. It is your birthday. Go shorty—but take your time standing up.
59. Have a tea-rific birthday with no steep problems.
60. I hope your birthday is soda-lightful.
61. Time fries when you are having fun.
62. Birthdays are nature’s way of saying, “Eat more cake.”
63. You have aged like fine wine. I have aged like an open soda.

Work puns for the nine-to-funny

Use these carefully. Human Resources may already have a folder with your name on it.

64. I have a job crushing cans. It is soda pressing.
65. The clock and I have a good relationship. We are always seconding each other.
66. I asked my desk for support. It told me to lean on it.
67. My keyboard needs space. Honestly, so do I.
68. The meeting was so long that my coffee requested overtime.
69. I work well under pressure, but I work better under a blanket.
70. The office printer and I are no longer on speaking paper.
71. My boss said, “Have a good day,” so I went home.
72. I put my résumé in the freezer. I wanted more cold, hard skills.
73. The electrician was delighted to conduct the interview.
74. I finally found my dream job. Then my alarm woke me up.
75. Teamwork makes the dream work, but snacks make the team show up.

Clean puns for kids and classrooms

Simple, cheerful, and safe for lunchboxes, teachers, and tiny comedians.

76. Math teachers have too many problems.
77. The music teacher needed help, so I left her a note.
78. The student ate his homework because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
79. The ruler was tired of being measured against everyone else.
80. The orange stopped halfway up the hill. It ran out of juice.
81. The moon skipped dinner because it was already full.
82. The ocean waved, but the beach did not wave back. It was feeling salty.
83. The broom arrived late because it over-swept.
84. The teddy bear skipped dessert because it was stuffed.
85. The picture went to jail because it was framed.
86. The computer took a nap because it needed to reboot.
87. The little light bulb did well in school. It was very bright.

Tap-to-reveal pun jokes

Guess first. Then tap the question to see the answer. No peeking. Your phone is watching.

Browse the Jermaine Pleas pun collection

This page is the front door. Every new pun collection will live in its own room, because throwing cheese jokes, cat jokes, love jokes, and office jokes into one giant pile would be a real zoo at lunch during a meeting.